A month ago today, I walked out of my job.
It’s not all bad.

Somebody once pointed out I may have put the cart before the horse, but I don’t think that’s the case.
If the horse is my creative endeavors, then the horse trucks forth regardless of cart.
One could say I fell out of the cart many miles ago, but I’m still tethered to the horse by an indestructible binding.
Or am I the cart?
Or is the cart my creative endeavors and the horse the relentless forward marching of life the universe and everything?
At what point did I get on the horse? And when did I obtain the cart? I wish I knew before this point, because there seems to be a cart and a horse, and I don’t seem to have either under control.

I can’t be the only one who notices how life flashes themes like road signs as to what’s going on in my life. Some may call it synchronicity, but I think it’s closer to God than hand-connected dots.

Another person I know mentioned something about the doors of life. For the longer you stay on one path, certain doors will close and they will not re-open.
I think the discussion was in relation to indecision. If I can’t make a decision for myself, life will make the decision for me by process of elimination.
Put simply, there aren’t many rookie 40 year old basketball players in the history of the NBA.
Some doors we naturally or inevitably close ourselves. For example, getting a tattoo or losing your virginity. In extreme cases becoming a convicted felon, or committing suicide.

I’m at an age where I doors are closing in a noticeable manner. I used to enjoy fantasizing about the potential of things as an escape. Each potential door its unique excuse for procrastinating. An escape route, a plan B, a “If this doesn’t work out I’ll at least have this door to try.”

With the elimination of these peripheral distractions, I can see the road signs in my life all telling me the same thing. No matter if it comes from a casual, spiritual, or psychological source, it all says:
“Give more of yourself to your art.”

The reason it hasn’t gone far enough, is I haven’t been 100% with it. I’ve been experimenting. Potentially seeing where things go. Falling into things by fluke or happenstance. Always reserving a way out for an excuse if things don’t go so well. The stress of having to pay all of my bills alone is about to be alleviated. No, I didn’t find someone to pay my bills, I will have less bills. With less stressors will come a clear path to focus on my art.

I embrace the poverty that comes with it, and will give 100% of myself to making my art succeed.

Oh yeah, and if you need a writer, editor, videographer, guitarist, tax guy, admin guy, bass player, day laborer, sound guy, or general friend, please reach out.