I’ve pursued college since September 2019. Here and now in 2025, I feel no more prepared for a job than in 2019. Word on the street is a bachelor’s degree is a means of social mobility. It’s taken five and a half years to realize I am not an academia nut. To paraphrase a classmate, “It’s a pyramid scheme, and I want to be at the top.”

Ideally, one studies a trade or a discipline then works in their respective field. I tip my hat to the electricians, carpenters, architects, welders, and plumbers of America. They’ve learned quantifiable hard skills and navigate our economy with grit and determination. Everyone needs a handyman. Shout out to the skilled laborers out there.

The only skilled labor I possess is music¹…

In the sphere of music, I believe musicians are largely supported by three major institutions.

1. Academia. Academia houses a number of musicians as Teachers, professors, band directors, spanning a far spectrum from theatre, to theory.
2. Religion. From Contemporary Christian artists to Canters spanning back to Bach and Beethoven the Church has sustained many musical minds.
3. The Military. The origins of the drum set can be traced to snare drummers in the military. There are army/navy bands worldwide. National anthems to be written, ceremonies to be adorned with hymns and chants.

But what of the damned souls who refuse to institutionalize their gift?

I am past my military prime, I’m too anarchistic for research and university politics, and I affiliate with no congregation.

With no institutional support, I’ve had to rely on other skills to supplement the trade I’m specialized in. Over a decade of trial and error as an independent musician has taught me a few hard truths. I will share a couple with you here.

1. There was more money in assisting someone with their project, than starting my own project.
   The first regular gig I landed, I played a marketing game. A local bar followed my Instagram account and I reached back via their comments section. The comment returned a DM, which led to an email, to a phone call, to an in-person meeting, finally arriving at a gig. That gig turned into a year and a half of regular nights at this bar, where I paid other musicians. I never turned a profit.
   Conversely, the gigs where I get called on the day of the show, I show up on time, play for two hours, and call it a night, I was compensated handsomely.
   This rule translates to the visual arts as well. I have a friend who directs films but he pays his bills editing projects for bigger brands
2. Reputation is more important than talent alone, and talent entitles me to nothing.
   There is a keyboard player who is a monstrous talent. He can sing anything from operatic arias to Lil Wayne. He plays the piano masterfully, he composes his own songs, and he cannot get a job to save his life. He works as a solo artist because he’s burned every bridge in town. Even the club owners are growing weary of his bombastic personality.
   
   As a younger artist, I was guilty of the magical thinking of, “now that I can play I should be loved by everybody.”
   Not the case.
   
   Within the musician community, there’s 3 things professionals look for. The music– is the music we’re playing fulfilling? Or is it mundane, rigid, and formulaic.
   The pay– Are we making a profit? Or are we playing for beer and peanuts?
   The hang– When I’m off the stage are we hanging out? Or are we all on our phones and the general milieu is tense.
   Checking all three boxes is rare on the lower levels, but if it happens keep that gig for as long as possible.
   2/3 ain’t bad. I wouldn’t mind playing boring music if I’m with my friends and we’re getting paid well.
   1/3 and it might be time to reprioritize.
   
   I’ve had rough gigs, but because I kept a positive attitude and remain professional, I don’t burn bridges or get fired.

---

The last ten years of my career feel much like the story of Sisyphus. I’ve accepted the eternal pushing of the stone, it’s now about directing the gift. Keeping it on track. Knowing how to get out of the way when the stone falls down the rock, so the walk back down isn’t so painful. Furthermore, the constant improvement of my craft is a lifelong onus I willingly take on.

The challenge is communicating my value to others.

Arts and entertainment is a competitive field. There is massive talent everywhere and the common stereotypes of high egos, substance misuse, and closed doors are rooted in truth.
I’m bad at self-promotion, I struggle to check my own ego as it is. The challenge of locating who needs me, and being there for them is at the core of my work.

Unfortunately, the creative skillset remains difficult to professionally market without an inside connection.

Unskilled labor and kitchens will always welcome me.

Partially, my attitude is to blame. There’s something in me looking for a handout. A situation where someone takes note of me, and finds a spot for me somewhere better than where I am today.
I’ve shirked the duty of attraction and seduction. I’ve approached most ventures in my life from a place of desperation and low self-esteem, and remain frustrated with the results. I have my moments though. Even unlucky horses win at least one race.

In short, if I don’t go out and insist my value, I will not be heed my calling. It’s sink or swim out there. Fuck or die.

1. I guess I’m an okay writer. ↩︎