Last night of barflying.

It started in a dive in Charleston, SC. Big Gun? I socialized with some Marines, and a college student from
California. Funny how that state follows me. I’ve never felt more lost. So many cities have predictable
layouts. I’m reminded of New Orleans, but it’s far whiter. Don’t get me wrong
there’s a black population, but- this is a white town. Bachelorette’s, horse rides, shopping districts, the whole nine

26 years of life.

14 of them spent completely in madness. Soothing myself into

a state of acceptance towards the world as it is. Not empowering myself to change it.
Swimming with the damned. Unintentionally damning myself. I’m far too ready to drop the act and take it all the way to
10.

****************************************************************************************

One day in and the pressure is on.

I have no job, no savings account, somewhere between $40,000 and $60,000 in debt, creditors calling me every day. And I’ve never felt more inspired.

Too often was my goal to calm myself among the stress. Why not lean into the stress?

I also have no kids, no criminal record, no diseases, and nowhere to go but up.

My last year in this town has begun.

****************************************************************************************